The joys

It has been one week since Marley was born and already our lives have been turned upside down. During the pregnancy parents would always tell Gene and I the same advice that heeded an ominous tone of the days to come: "Get your sleep now."

We chuckled at their advice thinking how bad could it really be? Oh boy...now we know. The lines between day and night and the definition of a good night's sleep have been so severely blurred that we rejoice when we can get 1 or 2 hours of uninterrupted ZZzzz's.

But it's true what they say...when it's your kid, the crying, poo, pee, and lack of sleep don't really bother you. It must be some inherent genetic mechanism to ensure the survival of our species because one week ago I never thought I could endure the things I endure on a daily basis now.

My labor was long and intensive. We planned on having a natural childbirth with as few medical interventions as possible, but 24 hours after my water broke and no regular labor pattern was established we resulted to an induction with pitocin (an IV medication that mimics the hormone oxytocin). Pitocin was a whole other ballgame. I was prepared to endure the pain of labor but pitocin made the contractions so intense and close together that after 9 hours of riding the pitocin-induced contractions without pain medication, I was screaming for the epidural. I think the moment came when I was sitting in between Gene and Kathy (my coaches) tears streaming down my face, pain coming in waves that overcame my senses, and the news of being only 1-2 cm dilated. I realized that 8-9 cm to go was much too long of a journey without relief.

Part of me is disappointed because I really wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. It was almost like I wanted to go through the rite of passage that women generations before had gone through. I wanted to experience the transformative power of going through something so painful, joyous, and intense without medical intervention so that I could say, "yes, I did it. I birthed this baby with my own strength." But in the end, I realize the important thing is that Marley is here, he is healthy, and we now have a family. Gene, being the incredible coach and husband that he is, never stopped praising my strength and to this day tells me that I amazed him.

Postpartum healing has been a slow process but I'm starting to feel better. I was exhausted, swollen, my perineum was sore making it difficult to sit (and poo), my breasts were painfully engorged, nipples blistered and tender (from nursing), I was constipated, and I had hemorrhoids. Who ever said that new mothers were glowing, beautiful beings? I'd like to slap them upside the head. Only now, 1 week after Marley's birth, can I say that I'm starting to feel more normal.

Christmas was great. My brother, his fiancee, and my parents were all in town so we got to spend the holidays together. We've had a steady stream of visitors of friends and family. It's been great to see how Marley's presence lights up everyone's faces. Isn't it neat how babies can do that?

I wonder if all mothers think their babies are the cutest. I spend hours staring at his little face and fall in love every day.